Gee *scratches head*
it's so frustrating x_x you find this AMAZING guy in your dreams, are about to get his AIM and email, and then you WAKE UP grrrargh
well, cheers to another date-less school year XD
Dirty BUM BUM BUM BUUUM!
Im so mature
I've gone into broadway phase... XD
I HAVE NO LIFE, DONT KILL ME FOR IT XD plus, Pistols are my favorite kind of guns, HEE XD
Directly Affected by the Cause
This is for Radka, because she told me to update XD
I was a little sad about the lack of Trigun that weekend... but i did get a fancy doujinshi! =D
Finals are comming up *hyperventilates* i am SO SO SO SO nervous... and i am really ready to hang myself for the fact that i have a 77 average right now in the xtra math class and a questionable 70 grade in science ;____________________; what do i do i do oodododo?!?!??!?!?! ARHGH!
School sucks SO bad right now... blah. I hope i can have a few more quizzes in those classes to save my sorry ass.... please please... >_<
Well anywho... got to work.. bye bye!
What is it like to not feel God at your side each moment?
It's a feeling that takes away all purpose, love, meaning, truth, emotion, and sense in this world. All through that time, it felt wrong. Like something that just wasn't real or logical. Like the devil about to drag the soul into Hell.
Sometimes, actually quite often, we may think that science disproves God. When in fact, science can help support the existance of God. In an article i was reading, it takes science, metaphysics, etc to prove that the existance of God is purely truth and logical. Interestingly enough, it states in much intelligence that 'infinity' is not possible. I'd go into explanation, but that would take a long while.
What makes me feel happier, and full, is having God at my side and believing in him. Just before i was thinking of suicide, i went to church, and i felt cleansed. All purpose brought back to me. Like i was seeing an old, true friend again.
I realized how important it is to keep God in my heart at all times. Church is always there to remind me that i can always go to God's house for advice and comfort.
All things have purpose and reason. Space and time belong in the universe. So is it wrong to be aware of what lies beyond the universe?
Ok, i'm going to stab myself for this later... but here comes that twitty, girly side of me...
hormones suck. so bad. It's mangling my heart and mind like crazy >_< and i can't do anything about it
Maybe my mind's just fooling me with little hopes, but every once in awhile... i feel hinted and teased. 'Maybe he's doing it on purpose?' that stupid side of me ALWAYS asks. It's so cruel, because everytime i'm 'hinted' there's nothing i can give back, and at the same time, figure, who'm i fooling?
I made a huge mistake years ago, i can't ask for forgiveness, i can only ask myself to accept punishment. I hurt him. I hurt myself. So what gives me the right to take happiness he deserves? He deserves better. So much better. Though, i wish i could have told him years ago that i did love him. and i still do.
It's all hormones fault. damn you hormones >(
At time like this, i REALLY really wish things could go back to normal, with a normal family
because no matter what, with that separation, i'll never be completely happy. To say in the least, my parents can move on, meet someone new and call that new person their husband/wife. But for their children? they don't go out looking for new parents. We're stuck with what we have until death. Unlike the parents, we don't have the choice of wanting to have parents or not.
I'm tired of all these cellphone calls. Tired of interrogation. Most of all, tired of this whole divorce. Thanks to my parent's actions, they'll never let a day go by without reminding me how bad the other parent is.
Im stopping on the computer for a moment. I'm a little sad, all of my friends are busy on this half day, so im stuck doing nothing... since i've finished all my homework ahead of time ^^;
I am happy though, in some aspects, because i had a yummy sandwhich at SubWay and i got my report card...
I honest to god thought i would get a C in science, i was dead afraid of that, because all my tests and quizzes (or most of them) have been in the 70 range. I got a B- last term, and that was only from slipping by! I nearly laughed, i went UP in science! I got a B for the 3rd term! And guess what else? I went up in every class! Like in Geometry, i went up from a C+ to an A+!!! I'm really proud of myself, to say in the least =)
I'm sort of disturbed though XD today in health, i took one of those paper tests for fun? And apparently i'm clinically depressed and need to see a doctor immediantly XDDD oh well
I just miss my friends, that's all =)
Ah well, guess i'll make some more cue cards! so boring XD
Music: The Wrong Idea by Chris Thile